It's Hard to be Truthful

Ugh.
I used to love to blog. I had even gotten to the point where my thoughts were in blog form!! Randy always encouraged me to blog.

Then, Life got messy. He died. I made a mess of many of my family relationships. It was too painful to be honest in my posts. It’s so much easier to talk a positive talk. Make everything look good. After all, that was a characteristic I had perfected over the years as a “preacher’s wife.” But then, I realized what good was I doing if I couldn’t be honest? Plus, it was slowly making me into a person I really didn’t like.

Randy died in March of 2015. Until the end of 2017 I was unhappy, depressed, confused, – however, it is also a time when I learned – really learned how to depend on God.

Yes, there were many days I didn’t even get out of bed. I just hid out – but I spent much of that time calling on God. Most of the time I didn’t even know what to say to Him. So I just depended on Him understanding my groans – my pain. And he did.

I know the difference in a depression that debilitates and one must depend on medication for it. And then there is a depression that can be controlled and overcome by one experiencing it.

That was me. I knew it was a mindset I needed to change. So….

In January of 2018, I told myself I was done. I was done feeling so sad. I was done staying in bed, I was done being depressed. I chose the word JOY as my word for the year. And then I set out to make changes.

God led me to a life of joy. I still miss Randy terribly BUT I feel joy in my heart and I have a renewed sense of living. I am so grateful for this and so thankful.

Sometimes we really do need to reach the very bottom to begin our way back up.

Thank you to all my friends and family, to my Sisters in Christ who have understood and helped me. – or even if you didn’t understand you still loved me through it.

2018 really has been a joyful year.

Have you thought about your word for 2019?

Office Redo–Before and After

This is where I have done my Bible Study and my journaling for the last 2 years. – On my dining table. And so most days it looks like this:



Well, I needed to do something about this mess. So I decided to redo my office.

I’m pleased with the end results:

(don’t expect a neat area! But it’s neat to me!!!)

      
                 Before                                       After
Yes, there is a desk under all
that “stuff.”


     
                Before                                          After


     
               Before                                          After


     
                   Before                                      After


As you can see, I had so much furniture and craft bins – It was too crowded. I had my desk, Randy’s desk, the table he built for our printer, 2 craft bins, 2 storage cabinets, a wash stand and 2 filing cabinets.

I was able to consolidate to 2 sets of shelves, a desk – made from a door, I used the filing cabinets and table Randy made to set it on. The 2 storage cabinets and the wash stand.

I put all my craft supplies on one set of shelves, Bible Study on the other set and bill information on the wall.

I had to buy the door and the shelves. I got a bargain on the door at Lowe’s – $2.66. I used varnish I already had to refinish it. The shelves were $25 each.

         

     Before varnish                     After 4 coats of varnish

I am looking forward to making messes in here rather than on the dining room table!

OH – an unplanned bonus!

I can see the TV from my desk!!

This was my 4th of July week project and I had so much fun doing it! I even went through all of my files and discarded and combined! I feel so accomplished!

Now – excuse me while I go make a mess!

Tweaks!

First of all, Thank you to everyone who responded. My goal isn’t for you to make a prayer journal like mine. My goal is for you to pray!! 

I did add a meditation page to my journal. I’m reading the book “The Hour That Changes the World” by Dick Eastman and I realized meditation isn’t intimidating, it isn’t complicated and it was easy for me to overlook. “I don’t have time right now – later.”

So I decided if I added a page dedicated to meditation – I wouldn’t forget it.

            

Same page, I added a tip-in.

Would love to hear about your prayer habits, your prayer notebooks, or just you! Comment below, on Facebook or twitter!

Part 3: Pray weekly

My last section in my Prayer Journal is divided by days. This is an area I need to tweak some.

Right now I have:

Monday: Christians Worldwide
Tuesday: Extended Family
Wednesday: Church staff and leaders
Thursday: Missionaries
Friday: Government

I haven’t decorated any of these pages yet – because I wasn’t sure if I liked my set-up when I started.

I want to add non-Christians to Monday.

My extended Family includes, My Dad, my Brother and his family, all of my in-laws, Aunts, and many friends that have become like family to me.

Wednesday I have my church staff listed plus trustees and deacons of my church.

Thursday I have a list of all the missions that my church supports and I’ve also made a page for many friends I have that are missionaries. In fact these pages are probably my favorite in my whole journal!

I also list people working in para-church organizations that I know and trust. I know they are doing a great work for the Lord.

Then Friday – my government and world wide political activities.


Here are my Mission pages that I love!! 





I really like looking at their faces when I pray for them!!

If you have any suggestions or ideas for a prayer journal, please share. I would love to hear your thoughts.

And I pray that if you set up a prayer journal that it will be as helpful to your prayer life as mine has been for me.

Part 2: Pray Every Day

I want to say that there is no right or wrong way to set up a prayer journal. Set your journal up with the areas that pertain to your life and meet your specific needs. I have been using this set-up for about a month now and there are a few things I am going to tweak to get it more usable for me. But I do want to say that I am more consistent in my prayer life using this journal. - it's not so hit or miss.  And, since I have taken the time to decorate it a bit – I’m always excited about opening it to pray. – because it is pleasing to my eye. 

So make a journal that is pleasant for you to open and enjoy your time with God.

The first half of my Prayer Journal is for daily prayers.

None of the pictures I’ve posted give any “personal” information!

1. I begin with worship.

          

    

I have Bible Verses, quotes, The Names of God, The Names of Jesus, Songs and I add anything that helps me with my worship time.

2. My next section is “Me.” The reason I have “me” here at the beginning is to confess – ask for forgiveness  before I get further into my prayer time.

      

I have quotes that remind me of what type of person I want to be, then I have a Gratitude page that reminds me of 4 areas I need for thankfulness.  I have several blank pages after gratitude so I can actually list what I am grateful for. Then I have several pages of verses for me to pray for myself – including verses on attitude, my tongue, my thoughts, etc. I have the song "Cleanse Me"  that I also use in my confession time.

 A few years ago Pastor Brad did a series on “Church Membership.” This series really made me realize and understand my responsibility to My Church. So I added some pages in my Prayer Journal listing my responsibilities. I take this very seriously and pray about my Church Attitude and Actions every day.

Many people use this 3rd section for husband or marriage. Since I’m a widow I jump right to family.

3. Family. I have each child and grandchild listed. I have one prayer I have written out that I pray for them collectively. And then I have pages for specific prayer requests for them.

Since I don’t have a husband or marriage for one of my sections I have -

4. My Thursday morning Bible Study Ladies -  My Covenant Sisters.

    

I have quotes about sisters and strong Christian Women. I have many verses in this section that I pray for these women. And I have some blank pages for specific requests for them.

5. My Life Group. This section is set up very similar to the Covenant Sister section. Bible verses and blank pages.

This is the end of the first half of my prayer journal.

Separating the front section and back section of my Journal is my WOW area.

     

This is where I list prayer requests. I do want to change this to all prayer requests and not just the prayer chain from my Church.

I also have a pocket page in this section to stick requests that others write out and hand me or I print off of an email.

I have areas by each request to write if/when an answer is reported to me.

This is the first half of my journal. It’s not as overwhelming as it may seem. Very easy. I took my time to set it up but it could be set up quickly.

1. Worship

2. Me

3. Family  (Marriage)

4. Covenant Sisters (Husband)

5. Life Group

WOW – Prayer requests and praises.

I would love to hear from you – do you have a better idea than I’ve presented?

Have you set up a prayer journal since reading this?

Do you have any questions?

Section 2 of my prayer journal will be in the next blog.

Prayer Journal

Two and a half years ago I began Bible Journaling. I shared about that H.E.R.E. That was the beginning of my journey. 

Well, this summer I am not teaching and have some spare time so I wanted to grow in a Spiritual area so I chose Prayer. I had been keeping lists of requests in a spiral notebook.

I decided I wanted to go into prayer deeper and in a more organized manner. So after reading Stone Soup For Five's Blog on “4 Steps to Create Your Personal Prayer Binder” and watching Gina Garland on you tube I was ready to go!

I had purchased one of Illustrated Faith's Praise Book quite some time ago but hadn’t done anything with it except I had made one page into a missionary page.

But – I wanted to use a verse I had picked for the front of the notebook. So I took the pages out of the Praise Book – because I love them!! and gave the praise 3-ring binder to a friend who was wanting to start her own prayer binder. Then I chose a 3-ring binder that has the pocket on the front so I could add my own cover.

My Bible Study Group had just finished a short study on the Tabernacle and I wanted to use Psalm 141:2 for the cover.

“May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” Psalm 141:2

The first page in my binder came from this book:

    

                        

My first 5 sections I pray daily:

    

     First is Worship.

     Second, me.

     Third, my immediate family.

     Fourth, my Bible Study Ladies.

     Fifth, my Life Group. 

Since I am widowed, I don’t have a section for Husband and Marriage. That’s why I added my Covenant Sisters and Life Group here. (I will break these sections down more in my next blog.)

Then I have the section in the middle for general Prayer Requests.

The second half of my Prayer Notebook is divided by the days of the week.

On Monday I pray for Christian’s I don’t know and for the salvation of the lost.

Tuesday’s I pray for my family – My Dad, Brother and his family, My close Christian friends, Aunts, etc.

Wednesday I set aside to pray for the Leaders of my Church.

Thursday’s I pray for Missionaries.

Friday’s I pray for our government, Jerusalem and world issues.

There is no right or wrong way to set up a prayer journal/notebook. Everyone has their own heart tugs.

I will go into each section in more detail in upcoming blogs.

I hope this will encourage you to become more intentional in your prayer life.

The other book I have for prayer is:

by Priscilla Shirer

I highly recommend both books mentioned in this post.

Be sure and share with me your journey in prayer!

Have a Blessed week!

                    

Honk if you’re Happy!!

 This blog was written in March 2017, but for some reason I never published it. Here it is - a little late but still sincere.

I started this book in January. It’s moved me almost every day. Ann Voskamp is a real person who feels real life – like I do. – But this isn’t a book review.

Today her topic was “Honk if you’re Happy.” She had read a story about a man who put this sign up on the highway by his house when his wife was ill. In reading the story I discovered his sign cheered those who honked and his wife when she would hear the honks. Our actions matter. Our words matter. 

Let me tell you my story of simple words, simple actions that have had a very grateful effect.

Two years ago this month, Randy needed a heart stint. A very routine procedure and we had the “best” cardiologist in the state!

We were planning the estate sales we were going to once this was over!! The procedure was just a hiccup in a smooth week of Antique Mall business!

When the very nice nurse was wheeling him into surgery I said to her, “Take good care of him – he is the love of my life!” And he gave me that ornery grin he had as I kissed him on the forehead.

Well, he didn’t make it. This simple procedure turned into the most devastating day of my life.

BUT I cannot explain to you the comfort I’ve had over these past two years when I recall those last moments we had. He went into the surgery with a smile and knowing that I loved him - That he really was the love of my life.

So, no matter how simple an action may be – a honk on the roadside, a kiss on the forehead – remember it really does matter.

Monday

Here I am, on a Monday morning. Flipping quickly through my facebook news feed - it must be quickly during these times, right? And I saw a picture of a woman holding a sign from a march in 2015. - if the media can't find enough hate-filled propaganda to spew all over then they go into the archives.

Her sign said " If Mary would have had an abortion - we wouldn't be in this mess." Wait. What??

It made my stomach hurt and tears come to my eyes and I realized it takes effort. Much effort to love the ones spewing the hate.

Then, it was my time. Time to still and read a word of truth.

"They spoke against God and against Moses, and said,'Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die here in the wilderness? There is not bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!'" Numbers 21:5

ALWAYS - ingratitude makes the poison course.

I Challenge You This Year

This may be one of the most important posts I have ever written.

“Prayer does not equip us for greater works,

Prayer is the greater work.”

Oswald Chambers 

My Utmost for His Highest

Every Saturday evening I try to post this on face book and twitter:

 From Precept Ministries

So many of my friends are in the ministry, married to a minister or at least attend a church. I ache for those in ministry as I often read about sin taking over their lives. I’ve been there. I’ve lived that. It’s devastating and in hindsight, I wish I would have asked more people to pray for me. For us.

So as we begin a new year, I challenge you, dear reader, to take time each week – I’m not even asking that you do this daily – but if you think of it - that would be good, too. But weekly - pray for your Pastor and his family. (I’m going old school with my grammar here and “his” is generic for his/her.) (Please, don’t criticize my use of “his.”)

Each time you think of someone in ministry just shoot up a special prayer.

These are the people we depend on for so much – then when they show us their human side – we turn on them so quickly.

I don’t now and never have believed we should put those in ministry on a pedestal. We should never judge them – but hold them accountable in love just as we would one another.

I don’t expect more from my Pastor’s than I do from myself in my Christian walk. Do you? Are you expecting this human with flesh and bones to be more than you are or are willing to become?  Give them more understanding. Give them more of your encouragement. And Prayer. Say more prayers for them. Because not everyone treats them as if they are human. Many expect them to be more.

More spiritual. More pure. More perfect.

They are men called by God. But still in their human bodies making human decisions with the help of God. Just like you and I.

We are a critical people. It’s so easy to pick on that person speaking from the pulpit. It’s so easy to be critical of the one leading our youth - Leading our children. 

So my challenge is for you to pray for our Ministers – our Pastors. Write it on your calendar if you have a hard time remembering them. Write them on your prayer request list if you have one

JUST REMEMBER

 pray for your pastor and family.

The Sexiest Man Alive

According to People Magazine Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the Sexiest Man Alive! – in 2016.


I was in Barnes and Noble Christmas shopping the week this hit the stands. (Sorry, Josie, didn’t buy any books for you!! I can’t keep up with what you’ve read!)

Anyway, I’m one of those customers who read the covers of everything that is in the check out lines! So, when I noticed this edition of People I thought to myself “He is nice to look at!”

Then my thoughts continued -  0f course they did, you’re thinking!!

We all know – or I hope we all know, once we’ve reached a certain age – for some it’s much younger than others – but we have an understanding that the package doesn’t always tell us  what’s inside.

The Sexiest Man Alive?? I think my idea of sexy and People’s idea of sexy may be two different things.

(I apologize to my readers who are uncomfortable with my use of the word sexy)

For me:

The sexiest man alive is the man who makes me laugh. The man who cares for me and is not ashamed to let others see it.

A sexy man is a man who loves God and follows Him first and unconditionally.

He’s the man who works beside me in our church and volunteers with me, we serve together.

He is caring and kind.

He is a man of integrity and high moral standards without being judgmental.

He is a man who makes me feel good about myself.

He is sexy because he lets me show him how much I care for him.

He is sure of who he is and loves life.

The sexiest man alive has absolutely nothing to do with how he looks, really. Because if he is all these characteristics  – he is the most handsome man there is! or as People states it – “The Sexiest Man” – to me!

Disclaimer: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson actually may be all these things – if so, Kudos to him – then he really is the sexiest man alive – to his wife!!

Normal

I have a twitter account – and I’ve posted on my blog before how much I enjoy it. HERE is the post!

One of the reasons I have felt so comfortable with twitter is because many of my friends from face book don’t have a twitter account. I’m more open with my comments on twitter. – However, I did uninstall twitter on my phone during the elections. I decided I like people – “my friends” more if I don’t know how they believe or what they believe or who they believe in.

Okay, so sorry – I’m rambling. Back to the purpose of my post. Normal.

Today I tweeted:

Believe it or not, I usually shy away from the dramatics. I dislike posts that are begging for someone to ask “what’s happening?”  or “what’s wrong?” but from my post today you probably can’t tell that I shy away from these dramatics.

Well, I forgot my dear friend Deb S. has her twitter account set to get notifications of my tweets!!! I love that girl!!

So she immediately sent me a text asking about my tweet.

I guess I thought mourning would lessen over time. – and I guess it has some – it’s just I thought I would be more “normal” in my emotions, in my life by now.

I am still depressed, I am still at a loss as to what to do with my life. Good grief, I’m 63 years old – why don’t I have things figured out by now??? It’s just really so frustrating to me.

I’m sure family and friends are tired of hearing me say “I think I will…. “ Then I never do and nothing changes.

My daughter's reaction to my comment -
"I'm going to do one of three things - I'm going to sell everything and  move to New York City, or I'm going to get a tattoo or I'm going to sell everything and buy an RV and live in it." 
Her response? "WHY on earth would you live in an RV???"  
REALLY? This was what she was worried about??

And trust me - these aren't the only ideas I've come up with.

I still have to DRAG myself out of bed most mornings. I still wake up during the night and have a hard time getting back to sleep. I still procrastinate all the things Randy did and now I need to do them.

I am at a loss. Literally. I am longing for normal and I don’t want where I am right now to be normal.

So my dearest Deb!!! – this is the exclamation of my tweet!!
I love ya, Girlie!

Gilmore Girls Revival

 In October of 2000, I still had one child at home. He was a Freshman in High School that year. I worked in my Beauty Shop and went to Jonathan’s (aforementioned child) sporting events and lived in a small town. (much smaller than Stars Hallow.)

When I finally at some point in the next 7 years came across Gilmore Girls on TV – for some reason I just never got into watching it regularly.

Then, Netflix picked it up in October of 2014 and it became an overnight sensation with a whole new group of fans! - Me included!

In 2015 I started watching it. I thought I started watching it because my Grandgirl (14) was watching it – but  I have discovered she is watching it now for the first time. I know I started watching it because some “young” person was watching and I wanted to see what they were watching. But this time around after the first couple of shows I was hooked.

Description online:

“Set in a storybook Connecticut town populated by an eclectic mix of dreamers, artists and everyday folk, this multigenerational drama about family and friendship centers around Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter, Rory. Lorelai owns the town's bed-and-breakfast, the Dragonfly Inn, with best friend/chef Sookie, and contends with weekly dinners with eccentric, well-off parents Richard and Emily Gilmore (who always have something to say about their daughter's life). After high school, Rory attends Yale University but frequently returns to Stars Hollow to visit her mom.”

I’m not sure what attracts me to this show. The characters are so well played – I love the town of Stars Hallow. I often say "I want to live in Stars Hallow." The show is funny (and I love to laugh) it’s sometimes sad. And I often get irritated when the people make mistakes – you know, kind of like real life people. At those times I will admit, I talk to the TV!! (grands will attest to this wonderful attribute of mine!!)

The writer is Amy Sherman-Palladino and I think this woman is one of the most talented writers EVER for television. She has a quick wit, knows more about pop-culture than is normal and is funny without being silly. Is serious without being dramatic – well, her writing is just LIFE.

No matter what I put in this blog – I will think of a dozen things later I would like to add. My older grands told me one time I should do a vlog reviewing this show because I am such a fan.

An average TV script has 53-60 pages. Palladino wrote 77-78 pages for each episode. This is one of the reasons the actors talk so fast. This also kept them from having the opportunity to  ad lib. They stuck very closely to the script to be able to get it all in.

The music in the show is some of my favorite, in fact, on Spotify I have a Playlist dedicated only to music from Gilmore Girls!

But the actors. They are the best. They took Palladino’s writing and did more than their best with it. Great Actors and Actresses. The chemistry on this show is some of the best I’ve ever seen on a weekly show.

I hesitate to talk about the actors because I will invariably leave someone out. So I will only mention the Mother and Daughter duo.

Lauren Graham plays Lorelai Gilmore – the Mom. She is a single Mom who came from a very wealthy home but wanted to be independent and raise her daughter on her own and she did. And she did it very well. She raised a very balanced and beloved “Rory.”

Alexis Bledel plays Rory – the Daughter. She starts out in high school in the show and is very level headed. She’s not perfect, she makes mistakes and doesn’t always handle them the way we (her fans, the viewers and parents) would like. But the show gives some excellent opportunities to talk to the young people in your home about decisions they make and consequences for their decisions. 

I have now watched every season several times. And I am so very excited that Netflix has done a revival which will be aired on November 25th!

Netflix has a fabulous marketing Department!!

One day in October there was a Luke’s Diner Day and about 250 coffee shops all over the US turned their shops into Luke’s Diner for a day.

We had one here in Wichita!!

      

So on Friday the day after Thanksgiving, my oldest granddaughter and I will be in front of the TV watching 4 episodes – 1.5 hours each of “A Year in the Life” a Gilmore Girls Revival.

Lot’s of snack food, comfy clothes and just a day in Stars Hallow!

I even got some Red Vines!!