It's Hard to be Truthful

Ugh.
I used to love to blog. I had even gotten to the point where my thoughts were in blog form!! Randy always encouraged me to blog.

Then, Life got messy. He died. I made a mess of many of my family relationships. It was too painful to be honest in my posts. It’s so much easier to talk a positive talk. Make everything look good. After all, that was a characteristic I had perfected over the years as a “preacher’s wife.” But then, I realized what good was I doing if I couldn’t be honest? Plus, it was slowly making me into a person I really didn’t like.

Randy died in March of 2015. Until the end of 2017 I was unhappy, depressed, confused, – however, it is also a time when I learned – really learned how to depend on God.

Yes, there were many days I didn’t even get out of bed. I just hid out – but I spent much of that time calling on God. Most of the time I didn’t even know what to say to Him. So I just depended on Him understanding my groans – my pain. And he did.

I know the difference in a depression that debilitates and one must depend on medication for it. And then there is a depression that can be controlled and overcome by one experiencing it.

That was me. I knew it was a mindset I needed to change. So….

In January of 2018, I told myself I was done. I was done feeling so sad. I was done staying in bed, I was done being depressed. I chose the word JOY as my word for the year. And then I set out to make changes.

God led me to a life of joy. I still miss Randy terribly BUT I feel joy in my heart and I have a renewed sense of living. I am so grateful for this and so thankful.

Sometimes we really do need to reach the very bottom to begin our way back up.

Thank you to all my friends and family, to my Sisters in Christ who have understood and helped me. – or even if you didn’t understand you still loved me through it.

2018 really has been a joyful year.

Have you thought about your word for 2019?

TIRED

I'm tired.

I'm tired of not being able to read a good book.

I'm tired of not being able to write.

I'm tired of not being able to blog.

I'm tired of not understanding technology.

I'm tired of figuring out my technology and then "they" upgrade it.
(they being those creatures who fix things that ain't broke)
(wow, this shows my age!)

I'm tired of not sleeping well.

I'm tired of trying to think up things to cook.

I'm really tired of politics.

I'm especially tired of Randy being gone.

I'm tired of people who whine!  : )

Okay. I'm done. I have gotten the tired's out of my system so now I can move on with my day.

Thank you for listening to my first world problems....

My Opinion

I think in blog form.

While thinking, I often begin putting my thoughts into blog form. I have a lot to say. At least, when thinking, I believe I have a lot to say.

Then I come to my computer and it all vanishes.

Oh, yes, I do that – I write down my thoughts. My ideas, so I won’t forget all the important things I have to say.

Then I come to my computer and look at those thoughts, those very important thoughts and ideas and I think – who wants to hear this?


I take pictures in blog form.

While taking pictures I form a caption in my mind.
(which has absolutely NOTHING to do with the rest of this post - I just thought it was important for you to know this. For no reason....)


Years ago – when my 40+ daughter was in high school  I would listen to my heroine Elizabeth Elliot while waiting at South High to pick up this daughter after school. On one of her radio shows (before podcast!)  Elizabeth talked about personal opinion.

This isn’t word for word – just my paraphrase – because as I said – it was a few years ago! But Elizabeth said:

When did we become a society that believes we must have an opinion on everything? It’s not necessary. It is okay to say, “I have no opinion on that subject.” It is also okay to say, ”My opinion is just that – my opinion and I don’t need to share it with others (or the world.)”

Take the subjects you really know about and have an opinion if you wish but unless you’ve done the research – don’t voice an opinion as if you are an expert.

I think of this often when I do come to my computer and click on the little pencil that takes me to Windows Live Writer. I do have a voice. But I don’t have to get on a soapbox about every little thing or big thing. I don’t have to have an opinion on every little thing or big thing. 

My opinion is just that. My opinion. And it means very little to others. Only me!!!

So, this is today’s opinion on my opinion…..

Thank you and good day

A Post About Blogging

I am in the “Ultimate Blog Challenge” this month. This means is that I post 30 blogs in 31 days in the month of October. I then put my blog title on twitter with the hashtag: #blogboost and I post it on face book on UBC page. THEN, I read at least 2 other blogs and make a comment on them.

I’ve been a blogger since October 2008. This month marks my 5th year anniversary at this.

I started by reviewing books. I belonged to a book club in Oklahoma and blogging about books wasn’t a problem. I always had my nose in a book. (that’s what my grandma used to say about me when I was a girl)

Then in 2011, I moved to Wichita, remarried and started a new life! I wanted my kids to know I was doing well – and all my friends back in Oklahoma because they had all been such a great support to me during some dark times. So, I started writing about all the happenings in my new life.

Now, after 5 years of writing, taking pictures, and sharing I have found that I could blog 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I love this and I have fun doing it. I very seldom ( okay, never) say anything very profound but I just love to write about the everyday things. In a world that seems to be utter chaos, I guess this is my way to find normalcy in all that’s crazy.

One day a friend compared blogging to journaling. I just smiled.  (I don’t like to argue with people. So when you say something to me and I just smile I’m probably disagreeing in my mind!!) Because when I blog it is NOTHING like keeping a journal or a diary. – Or at least what I consider a journal or diary.

My perspective on journaling is that it is written for the writer’s eyes only and contains many more private events than a blog.

So, to my friend that believes my blog is my journal, no, there is no way I write publicly what I would write privately. I rant much more in a journal!

I would encourage you to consider blogging – if you don’t already. My friend Debra at  Prairie Songs and I have both blogged at times about things we did as children. This way, there is a written copy for our families to share. Another reason to blog – to share with your children and your grands.

I have another friend, a young mother, that blogged about her children for a year – with pictures then made them each a book out of that year’s worth of blogs.

There are many reasons to blog.

My reason is – I just like doing it!!!

So, here on my 5th anniversary of blogging, I am doing the ultimate blog challenge, meeting other bloggers and having a grand ole time!!!

Working away writing a new post for "Reflections From the Midwest"