Reverb 10: Day 10

Taken in Branson, Missouri

December 10: What was the wisest decision you made this year and how did it play out.

This is an interesting prompt. When I found out the December of 2008 that I was going to be divorced, I made many decisions - beginning that month. So all through 2009, it was one new thing after another. I had already gone through the 5 stages of grief by then. I had been dealing with this chaotic relationship for several years and the last 3 before the divorce were the years I experienced the stages of grief. So I began 2010 with a new resolution of becoming content with my life. The turmoil was gone, the conflict was gone, the distrust and everything else that goes with a relationship gone bad was gone.

So I began 2010 knowing that I didn't want to grow old alone. Knowing that when/if I met someone to love, I wanted someone with a personal faith similar to mine, someone laid back, someone with humility, someone without arrogance. I wanted someone that enjoys the things I enjoy. I would prefer someone without a temper. I wanted a compatible companion.

I know this type of man is out there because 2 of my sisters-in-law are married to men like the one I've described here. I put my order :) before God. - After all, I reasoned, He knows so much better than me what I need. I had dated 4 men. - Everyone of them very nice. - But I knew none of them were what I was really yearning for in my heart. So I gave up.

One Sunday evening, I decided to try one last time. My brother-in-law talked me into going to Match.com. Within 2 days I read the profile of a man that interested me. I don't even remember now what it was in the profile that caught my attention but I sent him a message. He responded. What hooked me on this guy was in one of our early emails he told me a joke that a second grader had told him. - he impressed me.

All that said - we are now planning a wedding for April.

The wisest decision I've ever made was hitting on this guy!!!

Reverb 10: day 9

Day 9: Party: What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010?

I'm not a party girl!! However I had the opportunity to attend 2 wonderful weddings in 2010. The son of a very dear friend was married. I had such a good time at the wedding and reception. This is a picture of my friend Linda dancing with her son - the groom! Got to visit with friends from Glenn Park Christian Church where my family  used to minister. The reception was catered by Hog Wild and had a great DJ. The food was delicious, the dancing was fun to watch - I only did the twist for a minute!  :) Had a glass of Champagne with the toast.  Everyone looked beautiful - especially the bride and of course my friend Linda looked gorgeous. Everyone  seemed to have had a great time!

 

Randy and I at the Rubottom reception.

 Randy and I at Dale and Annie's wedding.

The other wedding we went to was so different from the Rubottom wedding but just as fun! You can tell I had been in the Oklahoma wind and humidity for this wedding! Dale and Annie got married by a lake in a little chapel and had a pot luck dinner. In lieu of gifts, they requested that the guests bring food for a pot luck! Some ate outside, some inside the chapel. It was fun. Everyone was casual and the visiting was just like a church pot luck! Everyone was comfortable in their casual attire and Annie was  a beautiful bride.

I had such a good time at both events. -

but even if I wouldn't have had such a good time - 

who cares if you are with a great date!!!!!

Reverb 10: day 8

December 8: Beautifully different.  Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up.

I'm not sure I'm different but I do like to see people happy. I like for them to laugh. So I have a tendency to try to be funny. I want to make people happy. I want to be encouraging and uplifting.  A couple of years ago I read a quote by unknown - have you noticed how much unknown has been quoted??? SHE must be an amazing woman! Anyway, the quote: "be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Ever since I read this, I've tried to live by it. I try to be kind, caring and funny.... Sometimes I fail, but I always try. I'm not sure this makes me beautiful, but hearing laughter makes me laugh and laughing makes me happy. Happiness makes me joyful and joy makes me content! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!

Reverb 10: Day 7

December 7: Community - Where have you discovered community online or otherwise?

"In sociology, the concept of community has led to significant debate, and sociologists are yet to reach agreement on a definition of the term. There were ninety-four discrete definitions of the term by the mid-1950s.^[1] Traditionally a "community" has been defined as a group of interacting people living in a common location. The word is often used to refer to a group that is organized around common values and is attributed with social cohesion within a shared geographical location, generally in social units larger than a household. The word can also refer to the national community or global community........... a broad term for fellowship or organized society.^[2]  Since the advent of the Internet, the concept of community no longer has geographical limitations, as people can now virtually gather in an online community and share common interests regardless of physical location." from Wikipedia

Community. I live in a small rural community. It is one where people step up to the plate in times of distress or trouble. I cannot even begin to explain  how this community stepped up and supported me with encouragement throughout 2010. It's unbelievable. I was fortunate to witness their collective support this past week when my boss became ill and spent time in the hospital.

Two separate experiences completely - yet unconditional support from our community.

Community. I have attended The Book Club for 11 years. We have been through so much together. My situation throughout my divorce was very uncomfortable for some of them but I never felt unloved or unappreciated. The laughter and discussions we have shared is precious and irreplaceable.

Community. Facebook, a social network, provided me with an outlet during times I felt isolated. I have been able to reconnect with old friends and as I've said many times, "Facebook saved my life."  You and I both know that facebook didn't actually save my life but the relationships with the people I have connected with on facebook - saved my life.

Community. In 2010 I have had the wonderful opportunity to meet, get to know and fall in love with Randy. He is not in himself a community but he introduced me to Cross Road Fellowship Church. http://www.crfbc.org/
I had not attended a specific church since my church closed in 2009. When I started attending Cross Road with Randy, I felt at home. I attended a Sunday School Class and that is where I have felt most comfortable. As is often the case, a smaller group makes one feel at home. I have enjoyed this community. They have a theme that caught my attention and still is interesting to me - Life at Cross Road. LIFE: Living Intentionally For Eternity. Liked it when I first heard it - still like it.

My future in Community? My 2011 holds so many opportunities that I can't even begin to imagine what type of community God will bring my way. And if I've learned one thing in 2010 - I've learned not to limit God by stating what I think He will accomplish in my life!!

Reverb 10: day 6

December 6: Make - what was the last thing you made?

I've found since dating :) I haven't had time to sew! or to read much!  but in July when Riley and Josie were at my house, Josie (the beautiful girl in the picture) asked me if I would make her a purse. Ok - this is a girl after my heart! A PURSE!!!!! As I've said before I'll go barefooted as long as I can get a new purse!!!

I let her go through all of my fabric. She picked out fabric for 4 or 5 purses! She has an eye for what goes together and an eye for embellishments. She may embellish more than I would but she is very good and she's only 8! When I asked what she wanted the purse to look like, she went to a website for young girls and found a "cartoon" purse she liked and we made a pattern. Then I started cutting out and putting this "Josie Creation" together.

About an hour and a half into the project she asked me if we could play a game. I explained we can play a game or we can make a purse. She said, "Well, I had no idea it would take you so long to make a purse!!" Loved it! Not only lessons on putting fabric together, picking our embellishments and pattern making but also a lesson on how long it actually takes to create beautiful things!

So here is our finished project:

It's hard to see but there is a "shoe button" on the camo fabric and on the flap is a button shaped like glasses! She did great on the whole project!

Reverb 10: day 5

December 5: Let go. What or whom did you let go of this year?

I'm sure all of you think I will be talking about marriage or something like that!! However, I'm not! :)

I'm going to talk about my youngest child! My baby! I really haven't thought about Jonathan as a baby for years. And in some ways I let go of him in 2005 when he left for college. But the final "letting go" came this fall. After graduation, he became a true independent adult, got a job and moved into his own place. This was the true letting go for me.

Jonathan was my "surprise" baby. You can ask his brother and sisters - he really was a very good baby. I used to joke and say "God knew He had pushed me as far as I could go and He gave me a perfect baby." That was no exaggeration. He really was good. He was good from birth and continues to be a great man. - There were a couple of times in high school I lost sleep over this child... Well, only once, but he stood up like a man and did what he needed to do to make things right. I was very proud of him. I am very proud of him.

So, this fall, I let go. I no longer pay his car insurance. That's really the only financial responsibility I had concerning Jonathan during college. Everything else, tuition, food, board, spending money, everything else, he took responsibility for. Now he's an adult. Standing on his own. I'm proud of him. I'm excited for him - he has his whole life ahead of him, a promising future.

I'm also a little sad.

Reverb 10: day 4

I am so far behind. I knew I would get behind, I just had no idea it would be this soon. I want to post pictures with my posts, but am either on the wrong computer or don't have my camera memory card with me....

Dec 4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder this year?

I always think wonder comes from looking at things - at life -  through a child's eyes. Once you've reached your 50's and life gets in the way, it's sometimes hard to look at life with the wonder of a child. My 2010 has been a year of new things, new lifestyle, new relationships, old relationships renewed, a new relationship with God.

For several years my only conversation with God has been "Why" "What can I do to change this situation" - conversations of that sort.  Romans 8:26  "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."  My version of this in my prayers was "God, help. I don't even know what to say. Help." For more than 3 years everything I said to God consisted of these words or no words - just groanings.

Then January 1, 2010. A new day, a new week, a new month, a new year. My philosophy is that God created our cycles of days, weeks, months, years so we can continuously be provided with "new beginnings". So here I was on the first day of a new year. A very new beginning.  A new year after years of dismal living, depression, helplessness. I decided at that point that 2010 would be my opportunity to pull myself up by my boot straps :) and move on with a better life, a better outlook - more importantly, a better relationship with my God.

I began looking at my spirituality with a sense of wonder. I was amazed at what God had for me. I also realized during this time of renewed relationship, how very wrong I had been over the years about spirituality, about God, about relationship with Him. I had spent so many years trying to be spiritual. Saying the right words that made me sound spiritual - oh, I know all the right words - praying "spiritual" prayers.. Oh how wrong I was. I began building my relationship with God as a child would. No special words, just my words. No looking at others with pity - because they didn't quite "fit" the spiritual mold. Trying to be kind to everyone about everything because everyone has their own struggles.

God has revealed Himself to me in a new way (not that He changed but I did). Nothing out of the ordinary, just regular love from Him to me and from me to Him. Just the everyday stuff - not the over the top, flashy stuff. Just like an old friend returning after a long trip. Comforting, familiar, forgiving and unconditional love.

My whole year has been filled with this sense of wonder because when you let God work on your attitude, it touches every single aspect of your life.

Reverb 10: Day 2

     I've never taken the time to write much. I read. I write down quotes, lists, reviews on books I've read but I've just not written much. But this year, actually the last few months I've had so many thoughts about embarking on this new life that I've often thought of starting another blog. But, there again, I just haven't taken the time. I usually can't imagine that anyone would want to read what I have to write. Now I'm beginning to understand that I don't need to write for anyone else to read but I do need to write to chronicle the feelings and thoughts that I have for me. Just for me. When I think back over my life I wonder if I've ever done much for me. How sad is that to reach 57 (almost 58) and not have done much for myself... I'm learning. I'm changing. As I told Randy not too long ago, I'm enjoying being a little selfish. I'm enjoying doing things because I want to do them.

So the biggest hindrance I have for writing is myself. And can I do anything about it? You bet I can...