I’m sure that much of my writing block has been caused by the activities of the last few months.
Mom hadn’t been doing well and my brother and I had been talking to Dad off and on about decisions that would need to be made. These type of decisions are not easy. For Dad or for Raymond and I. Raymond and I spent much of our conversations with each other saying “what should we do?” Our parents are very private people.
Then when she passed away, it all happened so fast. In that - she – we were all blessed. Her suffering was short-lived. Dad having to watch her suffer was – well it was a blessing that it went so quickly.
One thing I kept reminding myself is that we had her 60 years longer than many thought we would. I wrote about my Mom’s story H.E.R.E.
Anyway, I haven’t been able to come to terms about what to write about my Mom. Nothing I can write can explain the complex relationship that I had with her. – Maybe someday God will give me the words to write about the last three months. But not now.
Now I will just post what I said at her funeral.
Mom’s Funeral, October 4, 2014
“First of all Dad, Raymond and I and our families want to thank you for coming today and thank you for being a part of Mom’s life at different times over the years.
Over this last week – and I guess throughout my whole life I have heard many statements that begin “Before the wreck, Monie…..” As I was reminiscing these last few days it dawned on me that Mom’s life was defined into two periods. Before the wreck. After the wreck.
Before the wreck, she was vivacious, beautiful, a spitfire, outspoken and outgoing. And she could be a pain! She didn’t always make the right decisions.
After the wreck, she loved her faith. She was vivacious, beautiful, a spitfire, outspoken – outgoing – friendly – so very friendly – never met a stranger. She could still be a pain!! And she made some very good decisions.
She was given a second chance and she never took it for granted.
Her first good decision was that she chose to keep me. She could have let Grandma Elsie raise me. She could have let my grandma Louthan raise me. But at about 17 – 18 after fighting back from horrendous tragedy, she decided to buck up and raise her child alone.
Then, her next really good decision – she picked dad! Now, he may argue that he picked her! But he became the love of her life and her his. Such a good decision.
Then, she made another great decision, this decision was made with Dad so it was doubly blessed – they chose Raymond.
When you look at these 3 decisions, look at her life, the care giving she offered, the way she loved her grandchildren and great grandchildren – how can any one of us look at this beautiful wife and mother and say that her accident, her wreck, was a disaster.
She took all the bad that could happen to a young woman and became better, stronger, and lived a life that she loved.
All of us can learn from the lessons Mom taught us.
Her legacy she left for Raymond and me, for her grandchildren, for her great grandchildren and the memories she left for Dad are more than any of us could have asked.
Wherever family gathers
To laugh, talk, eat
Wherever babies are held
Stories are told
And hugs are shared
Our Mom’s spirit lives on.”
Ramona Doane
