Today I went to Oklahoma to see my Dad. It’s been one year today since my Mom died.
Dad and I spent time visiting, eating his favorite – Braum’s and watching two episodes of Gunsmoke and one of Bonanza – But we mostly talked during Bonanza so I have no idea what it was about!!
My Dad and I talk much more now that my Mom is gone. Not sure why. But I’m thankful for it.
Then I went to the cemetery to take some flowers and visit my Mom.
I spent some time talking to her about what my life has been like without Randy. Things I’ve been doing. Decisions I’ve made. I could hear her voice in my head several times saying, “Oh, you don’t want to do that.” – I have outgrown it some but usually when I hear her say that I am determined to do what she has told me I don’t want to do….. As I said, I have outgrown that some.
Mom never said too many positive things too me so when I do feel like I’ve done a good job or made a right decision, I don’t hear her voice at all.
I hope and pray when I’m gone, my children hear me say “I’m proud of you. You have done and are doing a great job.”