Fire Licking at My Heels

This season of my life has not been an easy adjustment. 

When I moved here – and married my wonderful Knight in Shining Armor   it was an adjustment – wasn’t always easy but it was always fun!

But now, this season is not what I wanted at all yet here I am in new territory again. Only this time it’s not fun.

I have been feeling just like this: cold, barren, tangled, confused.

My calendar has been FULL and when it isn’t full, I make things up to do.

For those of you, my readers, that know me, you know this is not me at all. I am a homebody. I love being at home. Being at home is how I thrive! Confusion – well, it just confuses me!!

I don’t know if I have been at home – by myself for a complete day since Randy died. 

This week, it caught up with me physically. It had already been wearing on me emotionally and mentally. I have been on that depression roller coaster – good one day, bad the next, the up and down and sometimes upside down.

I have a propensity for pneumonia. So when I start wheezing, I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO.

Wednesday evening I could barely breath. So, that was it for me. I took care of the one study I was doing with friends on Thursday and then went to bed.

Friday I stayed in bed all day. I read a book. A trivial book. Pure fiction.  The first complete book I’ve read since Randy died. (except for study books)

I feel better.. physically, emotionally and mentally. I do realize that it’s not over. I am pretty sure I will be paying my quarter (that dates me for sure!) to ride on that roller coaster again. But today. I am on solid ground.

I had been running to and fro as if fire were licking at my heels. I never slowed down enough to let God calm me or console me.

I have learned another life lesson.

Be Still and Know That

I Am God.