Saturday, October 31, 2015

Fire Licking at My Heels

This season of my life has not been an easy adjustment. 

When I moved here – and married my wonderful Knight in Shining Armor Smile  it was an adjustment – wasn’t always easy but it was always fun!

But now, this season is not what I wanted at all yet here I am in new territory again. Only this time it’s not fun.

I have been feeling just like this: cold, barren, tangled, confused.

My calendar has been FULL and when it isn’t full, I make things up to do.

For those of you, my readers, that know me, you know this is not me at all. I am a homebody. I love being at home. Being at home is how I thrive! Confusion – well, it just confuses me!!

I don’t know if I have been at home – by myself for a complete day since Randy died. 

This week, it caught up with me physically. It had already been wearing on me emotionally and mentally. I have been on that depression roller coaster – good one day, bad the next, the up and down and sometimes upside down.

I have a propensity for pneumonia. So when I start wheezing, I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO.

Wednesday evening I could barely breath. So, that was it for me. I took care of the one study I was doing with friends on Thursday and then went to bed.

Friday I stayed in bed all day. I read a book. A trivial book. Pure fiction.  The first complete book I’ve read since Randy died. (except for study books)

I feel better.. physically, emotionally and mentally. I do realize that it’s not over. I am pretty sure I will be paying my quarter (that dates me for sure!) to ride on that roller coaster again. But today. I am on solid ground.

I had been running to and fro as if fire were licking at my heels. I never slowed down enough to let God calm me or console me.

I have learned another life lesson.

Be Still and Know That
I Am God.


  1. Ah...wisdom comes to visit. Yep, you have to stop and rest, stop and feel everything that needs to be felt and worked through. It is necessary. All will be well. God has you in his arms. Randy has you in his. You are not alone.

  2. Thank you for always encouraging, Debra. Looking forward to November 6th.